Sharing Ourselves and Our Beloveds

Sex positive spaces can provide you with opportunities for deep opening and emotional transformation, but they can also bring up your insecurities, your fears and other challenges,

I've been corresponding recently with couples who are curious about attending our events. Several have said is that while one partner may be interested to play with other people, the other may not be, or is unsure. Personally, we think it's a big mistake to try to push your partner into anything. To open up in any genuine way, it is better to feel that one has permission to go at one's own pace without pressure or expectation. That one has the ability just to be oneself. Some couples may agree to not playing outside the couple. Some may choose to be intimate in public together or try something new.

If you are part of a couple, before coming to one of our events it can be helpful to discuss what each of you is ready for. This can sometimes be difficult. One might prefer to avoid such a conversation--or be less than completely honest. Nonetheless, we have found in our relationship that the more we communicate honestly and courageously with one another (and ourselves), the more we will remain in resonance, even if we find we have different wishes. And this will make the chances of any long term damage to our relationship much less. Of course, what we want can always change. But please remember, from our point of view you always have permission to make mistakes. This can be difficult territory. Compassion for oneself and your partner is de rigeur.

If you are interested in alternatives to monogamy, you can also have a listen to two interviews with Janet Hardy, co-author of The Ethical Slut, which she did while she was in Australia teaching at our festival in 2015. The first interview is with ABC Radio National; the second is a recording from a Skype interview she did with us during our first Melbourne RGS Festival in 2017.

In love and lust,

Natalia and Peter

School of Really Good Sex